Wednesday, September 11, 2013

When that day comes that you have been dreading

This was last month.

It happened last week.  On Thursday, it wasn't avoidable any longer.  Mothers dread the day and know it is coming nonetheless.

The day their child gets hurt and bleeds for the first time.

Esther was crawling and the blanket slipped under her.  She hit the floor face first and busted her top lip.  The cry I heard said she was terrified and hurting.  It broke my heart.  I scooped her up and hugged her and told her I loved her and kissed her.  I also got a teether out of the fridge for her hold so it would numb her lip.  It worked enough for her to nurse and go to sleep for her nap.

We want to protect them but also know they have to learn to do things on their own in their own way.  It is so hard for us to step back sometimes but it is necessary for them to learn.  It doesn't make it any easier when they get hurt though.  Somehow I don't think it ever will be easy.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Post never published: Motherhood

I found this post draft and decided to post it because it was written when she was around 8 weeks old.  We did get her the The Jesus Storybook Bible for Christmas last year and we have also gotten a board book style Bible that will stand up to her active little hands right now.  I love watching her daddy read to her out of it.  She still wants to play with it but one day she will understand.

There are so many things that can be said about being a new mother and most of them I have heard from different people at different times.  The one that I have heard the most is that your life will never be the same.  I used to think, well duh!  We will have a baby, of course it will be different.
Well, it is not just the normal order of the day changes, EVERYTHING changes.  Some good, some bad, and some great!  For the most part, it's great.  I truly can not imagine my life without our little princess.  I will admit, the fussiness at 3 am because of gas is not great, and trying to figure out why there is gas is not great.  Even in those moments though, I look at her and smile and thank the Lord for her.
She is the best gift the Lord has ever given me, besides one other one.  The best gift is salvation through His Son Jesus.  I want to teach her this and feel it's one of the most important tasks I have as a mother.  She may only be a few weeks old, but I am burdened (in a good way) with this task already.  I am looking forward to getting her The Jesus Storybook Bible and creating an Advent calendar to explore with her.
Motherhood is amazing, and there are no words that can describe it.  Those moments when I feel as if I will explode just looking at her because I love her so much.  The moments of panic when I actually have time to get in the shower and wonder, is she still breathing?  Then I hear her little chuckle she does in her sleep.
There is nothing in my life that compares to being her mother.  I am very happy being just that (as well as a wife to my wonderful husband!).